By Amy D. Marchand (c) 1996
In the blueness of a watery tomb
I searched for you and found you not.
For though your body was there, it was but a cast-aside expression,
An empty suit of clothes.
Oh my Beloved, where have you gone?
My tears fall in echoing anguish to the storms that rage both without my dwelling
And within my soul.
WHY hast thou forsaken me?!
I rage and scream and cry until one morn, my anger spent,
I behold a sunrise with new eyes.
With a heart humbled from my search,
I am gently led
To the one door
I kept locked and sealed.
I touch the knob of this door and it opens
Onto the inmost reaches of my own heart.
The warmth and light that greets me stuns me to new tears.
For while I searched and raged,
Here you were
Waiting for me the entire time.
And here I know I am safe, protected from the buffeting storms I have wandered through.
Here, in the heart of God,
I am at home
With my Beloved.
This poem is one of those gems that dropped into my notebook fully formed, twenty-one years ago this month.